MARY SUE (pronounced: MARY SUE). The term strikes fear into the heart of every (talented) serious writer and literary fan alive. Need I say more? Well, I will, or else this entry would not be entertaining.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CHARACTER IS A MARY SUE

[-] Their name is or includes any combination of the names "Bella", "Swann", "Edward", "Cullen", "Harry" or "Potter".

[+] Character is a long-lost sibling, cousin, friend, or child of a well-known canon character (i.e. Jack Skellington's sexy twin sister, Jill Skillingtown).

[-] Username of the fanart, fanfiction, or created character includes the name, surname, or nickname as the character they're fangirl-ing over.

[+] Is extremely physical attractive; so beautiful, in fact, that all members of the opposite sex want them and all members of the same sex are jealous of them.

[-] Eyes that are an unusual color, change color, or are multicolored, and hair that takes more than six words to describe. ("THICK LUSCIOUS WAVY HONEYDEW SHINY TENDRILS THAT CASCADED DOWN HER BACK GRACEFULLY").

[+] Character possesses SPESHUL MAGIK POWARZ that no other character in the story's world controls (even if the canon world has no magical powers to begin with).

[-] Has gigantic angel/demon/vampire/dragon wings.

[+] Is half angel, half demon, half vampire, half elf, half lycan, half succubus, and half neko. Oh, and secretly half prince/princess (without knowing it, of course, because either they know nothing of their past or their entire family/village was killed before their eyes at the age of three, and they were the sole survivor).

[-] Ability to master any skill, particularly those of fighting and weapon combat, with extreme ease (because they're super-special and excel at everything, except in one area where they are extremely disabled. This is usually being klutzy in females and being perverted in males).

[+] Afflicted with tremendous EMOTIONAL PAIN and CLINICAL DEPRESSIONZ because nobody can possibly understand their inner suffering.

[-] Have a common name was an unusual spelling; i.e. Ravyn, Faery, Jennifyr, etc. (Or Swann.)

[+] Names that are stereotypically overused in animes/fanfictions and meant to describe physical appearance or an object connected with the character - i.e. Raven, Ebony, Luna, Skye, Anya, Kat, Felina, etc.

[-] Has a cute baby version of a mythological creature for a pet - i.e. unicorn, dragon, griffon.

[+] An anime picture of said character bears an extreme resemblance to a character that already exists (i.e. Snape's magical and beautiful son, Saveris, who is like him in every way except for being physically attractive).


YOU'RE WELCOME. Now you can go forth into the world of lulzy fanfiction and poorly-written teen popular literature and laugh at atrocities such a Twilight and most animes just like me! Maybe I should have called this "how to be a cynical bitch".